


Wondered

by bloopy_moons



Series: Let's Play || Salt Squad One Shots [39]
Category: Salty Boys - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by a poem, M/M, Physical Abuse, Poem : Exes by Jessica Romoff and Mila Cuda, Rape/Non-con Elements, Requested, Sexual Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships, it's ever stated who is who, so imagine who you think is who, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 11:20:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15218048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloopy_moons/pseuds/bloopy_moons
Summary: "Are you upset with me?""Stop ignoring me"Or, the one where they're in an abusive relationship and one wonders when it began...





	Wondered

He wondered when it got like this. When late night phone calls, and I Love You's, became shouting matches, and regret.

He wondered when instead of asking, "When are you coming over?", he began asking "Are you upset with me?". When he stopped staying up all night thinking about  **Him** , and started staying up all night stressing,  _crying_ , about whether or not  **He**  would be alive in the morning.

He wondered when the butterflies died. When the airiness he felt with every glace turned into a mine hills on a battle field.

He wondered where his friends went. When they gave up on him. When they decided that he was a prisoner to his own heart and  **He**  held the key. When did  **He**  get the key?

He wondered when he stopped having a say on what he wanted. When "No" was no longer an answer. When dinner was less about the food and more about the bedroom after.

He wondered when every phone call began feeling like a bomb he had to defuse.

He wondered when he would no longer be questioned when he didn't reply right away. When "Stop ignoring me" became the most common message between them. When "I'll kill myself" began taking a close second.

He wondered when the soft comfort of  **His**  lips against his skin began feeling like a pillow pressed against his face. When breathlessness stopped meaning the same as how other people meant it.

He wondered when he became blind to the mouse traps scattered at his feet. When the cheese turned to hearts and he had to decide if he wanted to get hurt or starve.

He wondered when, if ever, he would be able to hear  **His**  name again without shaking. Hear  **His**  voice without flinching.

He wondered when he would finally get the nerve to tell her what  **He**  did to him.

He wondered if he could stop it from happening again.


End file.
